Student Voices: Mary Grayson Koonce

Third-year student, Mary Grayson Koonce, shares lessons learned from another generation

Story by Mary Grayson Koonce | Published March 26, 2024

During my geriatrics elective as a third-year PharmD student at the UNC Eshelman School of Pharmacy (PHCY 800 with Dr. Woodall), I had the privilege to undertake a project of my choice, among which was the option of conducting a life interview. This opportunity led me to connect with a remarkable 91-year-old man, Mr. James Merkel, whose insights challenged my perceptions of aging and underscored the significance of empathy in patient interactions. In addition to this, I received valuable advice that one can only garner from spending nine decades on this planet.

Upon arranging our interview, Mr. Merkel shared a light-hearted joke about not buying green bananas, joking about uncertainty regarding their ripening and consumption—a testament to his playful nature. My initial impression painted him as a cheerful, vibrant individual, despite his advanced age of 91, appearing remarkably independent and able to get around. This reframed some of my preconceived notions about aging, as I was anticipating a more frail and elderly appearing man to open the door for me. After spending over two hours getting to know Mr. Merkel, I gained insights into the diverse circumstances that shaped his journey and molded him into the person he is today.

As our conversation unfolded in his quaint Chapel Hill home “off the beaten path,” Mr. Merkel shared vivid recollections spanning his childhood in the 1940s to his experiences as a teenager in the 1950s, marriage at 18, military service in his 20s, raising nine children, and the stories of love and loss along the way. Through his narratives, I gained profound insights into how societal norms and past experiences shape one’s perspectives, particularly concerning health care. Mr. Merkel’s experiences highlighted the importance of recognizing and respecting patients’ unique backgrounds and histories, especially when they may harbor skepticism or apprehension toward medical care.

Despite the generational gap of more than 60 years between us, Mr. Merkel and I found common ground in our shared fears about aging, including coping with loss and declining health. However, his unwavering optimism and zest for life serve as a touching reminder that even in later years, there is boundless potential for joy and new experiences. After our visit when Mr. Merkel contacted me again to arrange a time to grab a pizza together, I eagerly accepted his invitation! This meeting reaffirmed my passion for geriatrics and my commitment to providing compassionate care to older adults, as well as reminded me not to take time with loved ones for granted.

Overall, my encounter with Mr. Merkel transcended the boundaries of age, imparting invaluable lessons about empathy, resilience, and the enduring importance of fostering meaningful connections with patients. As I continue my journey in health care, I am determined to emulate Mr. Merkel’s compassionate spirit and serve as a dedicated advocate for the well-being of older generations. I am grateful for the opportunity provided by the School; Mr. Merkel has left a lasting impact on my development as a pharmacist and as a person.